once I thought the dove was coming to my cave to profess his love but actually he was telling me he was running away to pursue his true love of music :\
ugh so few of them actually want to love you! i’m not playing a pigeon dating simulation in order to help some pigeon pursue his dreams, i’m playing it so he’ll pigeon smooch me!!!
there’s a knock at my door and i answer it and it’s some babe who’s like ‘oh hey, i have this BLT you ordered, the door was open so i thought i’d just come up instead of making you go all the way downstairs, also i brought some fries and they’re still hot,” and i’m like, ‘wow thanks so much you basically read my mind i totally forgot about getting fries, here’s a hefty tip for the impeccable service,” and then they’re like “hey, thanks, oh by the way here’s a milkshake also and it’s like the perfect size so you won’t be like ‘fuck this is so much milkshake i’m just slogging through it ugh’” and i’m like “great! that’s the exact amount i want!” and they’re like, “hey, is that captain ron?” and i’m like, “yeah, i’m just letting it buffer so i can watch it while i eat this BLT,” and they’re like “cool. well, see ya.” and i’m like “thanks bye!”